Best Come Back Line Ever
*In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday night. *
*On Monday, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency, and public
intoxication. *
*The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, ‘You know how a
pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn’t anyone around’ he stated in a
telephone interview.’ *
*Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a
hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged need. ‘Guess I was really into it, you know?’ he commented with evident embarrassment. *
*In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until Officer
Brenda Taylor approached him. *
*’It was an unusual situation, that’s for sure,’ said Officer Taylor. ‘I walked up to Lawrence and he’s just banging away at this pumpkin.’
Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence . *
*’I said, ‘Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you’re having sex with a pumpkin?’ *
*‘He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said… ‘A pumpkin? Shit… is it
midnight already?’ *
*This was in the Washington Post… the title of the article was ‘Best Come Back Line Ever.’*
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Please… I beg you… next time when you CTRL+C, CTRL+V… just take a look at the formatting.
This is a funny story but damn if it hurts the
eyes the way that it is
broken up.
That being said, Why didn’t dude just take the pumpkin home and get his jollies there? And while we’re on it, I’m sure Rule 34 applies here but is there a following for this sort of thing? Even then is it only a “holiday gourd” type of thing or is it any gourd… or does it have to be a gourd? Maybe a grapefruit or a cored pineapple may make things interesting.
There just isn’t any pleasing you Ryan!!! lol
Nonsense poopiepants!
Well… I guess I shouldn’t say anything about this orange text on the brown/gray background then seeing as I can hardly read it!!??!?!?!
HAHAHA
No really… it’s OK.. I just hilight the text with the mouse so I can read it
BTW… have you come across a good “Free” (I don’t care if it fell off the truck kind of thing either) shoutbox for joomla that has full integration and things like filtering? I just can’t find anything really.